Losing the muffin top

Brian and I used to work out together every night after work. After we got married, we decided to run the neighborhood each morning before work.

Then, my thyroid went out of control and I started gaining weight. I slept all the time, had less energy, and just a tad bit less patience. (that thyroid can really make you nuts)

But, the fact that I couldn't physically keep up anymore and the whole patience issue made for some interesting moments in the middle of the street. He would go too fast, and I couldn't handle being such a bad runner, and he would say he wasn't able to actually run any slower, and I would be embarrassed/angry/tired/hormonal. It was bad and the language was bad and those scenes probably made for some good drama for the neighborhood.

And I'm pretty sure there was one final morning where I was standing in the middle of the street sobbing and screaming for Mr Speedy Pants to just go on without me. "Just GO!"

Brian was emotionally traumatized.

It may or may not have been one of my lowest points.

Thus ended our workouts together.



On a happy note, I eventually got the thyroid medication regulated and once again became the person Brian married. But we really haven't worked out together since.





But now I'm not pregnant. My thyroid is regulated. And I really can't think of any other excuse to put off working out. "I just had a baby" is losing it's credibility as my excuse for being in maternity clothes. They are officially packed away, and all that remains in my closet are teeny tiny shirts (did I EVER fit those?!) and pants that mock me.

And I love the leggings look... but my thighs never did look good in leggings. Even in 1989. It's a Lane family curse.

So I decided to do the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. It's a 20-minute workout that you are supposed to do for 30 days straight. I mean, you can't argue with 30 minutes in the privacy of your own home. Even if your 5yo is more critical than any trainer could be. ("Mom, I can see your belly jiggling! haha, that's funny!!")



For obvious reasons (see above), I could not do this with Brian. And after setting out to find an accountability partner, I ended up forming a group of girls to do this 30 days together. And what started out as an accountability partner, to whom I could flake out on, if needed, became a group of thirty girls. THIRTY. To whom I cannot flake out on. Talk about real accountability!

I call them "my girls" now, which gets a rip-roaring laugh out of Brian. I think he's laughing because I have a history of starting things and not finishing them. To which I say - at least I try. That should be worth something.


And Brian just doesn't want to admit he wants in. But let the jury know that on more than one morning this week, I have heard Jillian from the family room. Oh yes. Thankfully for him, I'm usually busy nursing and can't come out to scream at him for going too fast and being better than me.


Hoping there will be a big difference in 30 days. I have already lost some weight and I'm only on day 3!! :)





Furthermore, in my quest to fit into any article of clothing I own look and feel better, I have invested in the skinny cami. Much like the yummie tummie, but much much cheaper. My first one came in this week and I totally LOVE it. Really, I highly recommend it. And by "recommend" I mean - tell her I sent you because I get a free one if 5 more people order!


Here are some before/afters with the skinny cami. To preface these horrific photos, I will ask you to remember that my baby is only 3 months old and to show a little grace. Because my REAL after photos will be when we go to Cabo in April. I hope to just hang out in my bathing suit without a t-shirt to hide under. Unless I can convert the skinny cami into a bathing suit. Hmmmmm....

Anyways, just keeping it real... (And also trying to motivate you to buy one, because did I mention I get one free???) I will be honest, I was expecting to be a size 2 again when I wore it, but it's not a miracle shirt. Just one that hides the rolls, keeps everything from jiggling around, and helps me fit into some smaller shirts and jeans. I pretty much wear this every day now. There is also a big difference in the side view... could have taken that picture, but I'm lazy. And frankly, this tank top does take some time to get INTO, and I don't feel like going to put it on right now since we are vegging out at home, and no one around here cares if I hang out in my comfy pajama pants.

But if you have any questions about it, email me! I love it and love how my clothes look. So go check it out! The girl is really nice, and she made it into a NURSING tank top for me. Love her! :)

Hopefully after The Shred, I won't even need it anymore. :)

Merry Christmas! (photo heavy)

(not editing any photos - too tired!)

We started of Advent with this great advent calendar I made at MOPS. Each square is a magnet and fits on my (dirty) mini-muffin tin. Then someone passed on a great blog with ideas for each day, so instead of candy, we had activities under each magnet. Things like donate money to the Salvation Army, donate 3 toys, gingerbread house, make cookies, visit Santa, read the Christmas story, buy a gift for sibling, etc. It was great fun for us!






We had Christmas at Brian's parents...







new bike!




Zac had picked out his own gift for them... he was very proud!






Then Christmas at my parents...




Zac giving my parents the gift he picked out for them - and very excited!




Cool train set!!!





omg, this was cracking me up... mom and ZZ playing rock/paper/scissors... it was really funny to watch... they were both very into it! :)






Then finally OUR CHRISTMAS!

Our Christmas eve... (look at the mantle!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas cards!!!!!!!!)




Zachariah wanted to contribute his own decorations...





Selah Grace's gift from Santa - a Britax! (we orginally had only pacifiers for her... and then she ended up with the biggest most expensive gift!)



Daddy and Mommy had Santa gifts too. (And Daddy surely didn't secretly wear those black shoes to Christmas Eve service. He would never do something like that.)

Zac's stocking and gift from Santa (the metal detector that promptly BROKE that afternoon...)



The ZhuZhu pets (he got two) and their accessories were a big hit!




The family room looked like a bomb went off


One of my fav gifts!!!




And the "uggs" I made for SG! :)




More boots and a dress I made for her - aren't they adorable?! :)




We feel very blessed this Christmas! 2009 was crazy. Last Christmas we didn't even know about little Selah Grace yet - what an eventful year it was! Pregnancy, major "morning" sickness, our first anniversary, moving, Cares, new baby, medical stuff, etc etc etc. But we are ready to start 2010 with high hopes and excitement and thankfulness!!!

watching Biggest Loser and eating cookies

Ironic much?

I know this week is supposed to be fun and exciting, but I'm not feeling it yet.

Brian's been out of town a lot the past couple weeks. Zachariah is gone for 8 days and Brian's out of town again. It's just me and Selah Grace.

It's been fun. I mean, she is sooooo cute. And it's easy to run errands without having to drag ZZ around. (he's not the best shopping buddy) I was also able to get all my Christmas shopping finished.

BUT. I miss my boys and how much fun and energy they bring around here.

And, SG had a bad day today. She had quite a spectacular meltdown at Joann's today while I was waiting at the cutting counter. (although, once again, they opened up a new line for me...ha!) And I get that people want to help and offer their diagnosis of why she is crying, because, for the LOVE, she has a dramatic cry - but omg for the thousandth time ... she is not hungry. I promise. And thanks for the opportunity to breastfeed in your back office, but it's really not necessary. Unless I can go back there with a good book and you would like to babysit for a bit. And I'd like a water with 2 cubes of ice please.

So, when she finally went to sleep tonight. And I found myself watching Biggest Loser and eating some yummy applesauce cookies I made for myself. I ate the first batch. Then I went to get *just one more* and realized I left the 2nd batch in the oven and they were burned. Probably a good thing since I have 20 pounds to lose. And as healthy as "applesauce cookies" sound, there was a whoooooole lot of shortening in there. And sugar.

So, then I decided to get on my gym's website and write down each class I was going to take STARTING MONDAY. I had it all planned out when I remembered my gym membership is on hold until Feb 3.

So, I decided that Monday would, instead, be my official start date to start the Jillian Michael's 30-day Shred dvd that I hope to unwrap on Christmas. I am trying to round up an accountability partner somewhere because, let's face it - who actually gets through 30 whole days?!



Anyways, the plan for the rest of the night is to make Selah Grace some baby uggs. I found some cute material to make a black pair and a brown pair. For $26/yard, these better be really stinkin cute. The first boot I made looks nothing like a shoe, much less a boot. But I had a hard time concentrating over the screaming. Hopefully the 2nd try will go better.

And if I have time, I got some cute material to make a dress that would look really great with uggs. The only bad thing is that I don't have a pattern. It's all in my head. And I don't know how it will turn out, but if it's really ugly then it will work in our favor that she outgrows everything too quickly.

I can have a wild imagination when it comes to sewing. And remodeling. Rarely do things come to fruition (and when they do, rarely do they turn out like I thought they would), but it doesn't stop me from dreaming. Last night I drew out a whole new kitchen design for our house. Brian asked me if I had any idea how much that would cost. I think we could do the whole thing ourselves! I mean, how much skill do you need to knock out some walls and move around some cabinets? He said something about needing a new support beam, but gosh that's just a pesky little detail. He's so cautious.


So, really, this blog has no point. Just a way for me to "talk." I should take this time to get the million pics off my camera before the holidays. But it makes me miss my ZZ-baby.

I am looking forward to Saturday when my little family is all together again. And Sunday when we celebrate Christmas.


ETA: Oh my GAWSH!!! I just finished her boots and they turned out really cute! I made a black pair and a brown pair with faux fur. TOO CUTE. Can't wait to try them on SG!
And speaking of the little darling... she went to sleep like an angel tonight and I just wanted to climb right into her bed and snuggle with her. Sweet sweet baby.
It's 1:37am... what in the heavens am I doing still awake? Good night!

Christmas shopping and Selah Grace

I am hoping to get all my Christmas shopping done this weekend.

Zac:
Metal detector - CHECK
Zhu Zhu pet - CHECK
Stocking Stuffers from Dollar Tree - CHECK
Joke book - CHECK
Cat stuffed animal that breathes - going to pick it up tomorrow
Maybe a beta fish... still haven't decided on that one.

(It's a $20 cat that is curled up on a pillow and you can watch its little tummy go up and down like it's breathing. It has captivated Zachariah. He saw it this past summer and is still talking about it. I thought by telling him to ask for it for Christmas, he'd forget... but he didn't.)

I wish I could get him a gecko for a pet. He saw his cousin feeding a gecko to a cat last weekend, and he is still really upset about it. Like really upset. He is so sad about this gecko.


Selah Grace:
No clue. She really doesn't need anything! Maybe some bows or flowers for her hair. Maybe some cute shoes with big fat satin bows on them. I got Zachariah a jumperoo for Christmas 2004. Maybe I can find a cheap one for SG? She's definitely active enough. Anyway, we need to get her SOMEthing. I'm sure Zachariah already thinks she's on the naughty list for all that screaming in the car.

Brian:
Can't tell! What if he looks here?! But I know he'll be so happy. :)

ME:
Of course I'm buying for me! :) As a mom, I've not done the "christmas list" thing - always worrying about everyone else. But this year, I decided to want some things! :)

I need more shirts that are easy to nurse in, but can also be worn afterwards. And some scarves. And a sports watch for when I neeeeeeeed to start running again. Oh - and Jillian Michael's 30-day shred. I have a friend here in our complex with a little boy, and we are going to try to do the DVD together while the boys play. I'm going to try and find some silver flats, too. I saw someone wearing some the other day and they were so cute.

I'm going to buy what I want and wrap it all up to enjoy on Christmas morning like everyone else. :)



Selah Grace is going to be my shopping buddy tomorrow. I hope she does well! We are hitting the Galleria and Walmart. That should cover just about everything - ha!

My closest Goodwill is having a 50% off sale tomorrow. I went tonight and found some great Christmas books to add to our collection that Brian's aunt started for us. I'd like a good collection to bring out each like I've seen some of our friends do. So, we'll be there, too.


I'm really proud that we are doing this whole Christmas on cash only. It's tempting to cheat during the holidays. But I have bought a little here, a little there, over the past couple months. So, yay for us!




Updates on sweet Selah Grace

We got our paperwork for her appt at Scottish Rite Hospital. We are thankful to get in so quickly. The appointment is on January 26. We will meet with the head of the orthopedic dept at 8:30, then at 9am we meet with the entire orthopedic team. Supposedly this is very comprehensive and will take several hours. We're SO thankful she is being treated so well by all the doctors we've seen so far. SUCH A BLESSING! I do need a better system for all her medical paperwork if any of you moms with this situation have some advice on that. A simple manila folder isn't enough anymore!

If you've never met her - she looks and acts very very normal. You'd never know she had any issues whatsoever.

She has a BEAUTIFUL smile that she will flash to anyone who takes the time to talk to her. And if you spend enough time talking to her, she will "talk" back with the sweetest soft high gentle purr. It's so stinkin cute! We just melt every time!

She has a big head. It's my head. I gave it to both my children. I might have told this story already... but Brian had (very honestly) asked me, "When will the swelling in her head go down?" I told him it looks much better with hair. At least I think so! lol

Her eyes are still a gray/blue color. Brian's were that color until he was 6mo, so her's will probably change. They're pretty either way. :)

She is a great combo of Brian and I. We will put some baby pics up to compare. She has my head and my eyes for sure. She has Brian's mouth for sure. And GUESS WHERE THOSE CHEEKS CAME FROM?!! Daddy!! We saw some of his baby pics last weekend... and the cheeks were undeniable. :)

She loves her bouncy seat and most of the time prefers to sit there. She also likes her play gym and her bumbo seat. She likes to "stand" and hold our hands. She also loves to lay down on her back if someone is playing with her legs and singing. She is just starting to grab at toys, but she's not that interested yet. She is a great scooter - especially when she's in her crib. We almost always find her at the other end of the crib with her head at the rails.

She likes the umbrella stroller because she can face front. We walk to get the mail with Zachariah on his bike, and they both enjoy that time. We take "the long way" which is around the whole complex and back to the mailbox. ;)

She sleeps in her crib with big brother right above her. Both kids go to bed at 7 (Praise God!), and he is thrilled that someone else is in there with him. (he is such a people person!) He saw me holding her and singing to her at bedtime last week. So, now I also get to hold him and sign to him. Silly boy.

She still gets up every 3 hours, but it only takes me about 5 minutes to feed her and lay her back down where she falls right back asleep. She has had 2-3 nights when she slept 5-6 hours, but it's not consistent. It's not that bad, but it will be nice to sleep a little longer with no interruptions someday.

She really enjoys watching tv if Zachariah has a cartoon on. But she does not like it if Mommy is on the computer. (get in line - no one likes it if Mommy is on the computer!)

All in all - she is a beautiful blessing to our little family and we wouldn't trade ANYTHING about her. God has been good to us. We are humbled by His grace.



(OH - and I did post about her dr appt. I think it's 2 posts down. It accidentally got hidden because I started it and it took a while to write.)

Rollin rollin rollin!

We were wrapping presents at the clubhouse (cares event) on Thursday night. Selah Grace had fallen asleep, so we laid her down on the floor on her tummy.

She woke up, and she can usually lift her whole top half of her body off the ground. She does this a lot and looks around. She can almost look out over her crib rail because she can lift so high.

Add that to the fact that she can already scoot from one side of her crib to the top (and hits her head every time).... and ...

... well - this time she ROLLED OVER!

Right over onto her back!! And just cool as a cucumber the whole time. Here she is right afterwards, just sucking on her fingers.

Crazy girl! Think she'll be an early crawler like ZZ? :)

Selah's doctor appt

Finally finding the time and the thoughts to blog about it...





First off - we LOVED the doctor! She was wonderful. So patient and kind and spent over an hour answering all of our questions without even doing so much as looking at her watch. She was gentle with Selah Grace and very knowledgeable. She would give scientific terms, but then explain it in regular words. She even did drawings for us to explain some things, and got a model of a cell to explain others. She had already reviewed our paperwork, other doctor's notes, etc. So she wasn't asking us things that we had already filled out.





AWESOME Doctor!





That was an amazing answer to prayer!!!








She started off with tons of questions about us, our families, the pregnancy, the miscarriage I had last summer, etc etc etc. Selah was nursing, which gave us time to talk to her.





Then we undressed Selah and she looked her all over. Some of the rash is already gone, so we were showing her where it started out. I didn't see it at birth, so Brian had to go over that part, because it has changed color and texture from her birth and over the past couple months.





Selah Grace fell asleep in Brian's arms, which gave us time to talk again. (SG was such a sweet angel during the appt!)








What we know:





Conradi-hunermann is being studied right now at Johns Hopkins hospital in Maryland. They want samples of her blood to give us the 100% diagnosis. (it's like 99.999999% right now) They will tell us the "function" of her x-chromosome that is carrying it, and depending on the function, we may or may not be in a rush to get samples to the University of Chicago hospital, who will be able to tell us in detail more about her specific condition.





After the appt, we were sent to the hospital to get blood taken from SG and it had all these special instructions to get it to Maryland the next day. And we are hoping for the results to come before Jan 1.





(terrible time getting blood taken by the way! poor SG has bruised hands where they blew TWO VEINS! and then they finally got two specialists in to get it from inside her elbow! Hard to watch!!)











Everything else:





Because it's an x-chromosome condition and she has 2 x-chromosomes, one of them is carrying the chs. In her billions of cells, she has some regular x-chromosomes, and some that are carrying the chs. The ones that are carrying the chs are going to affect her bone development and eyesight. We don't know the severity - and we won't know until we see signs one way or the other.





We also don't know if other things will be affected with a chs-carrying chromosome - things that could cause mental retardation, etc. We won't know the severity either.





We might see at 3 years old that she will need special services. OR we might just notice her struggle with math in high school. And even then, it will be hard to blame chs or just not being a math person. (the math was just an example, but you get the general idea)





The "tests" for these things are just the developmental milestones that we all see, based on months and years of a child.











Dr. S is mostly concerned with her bone growth and cataracts.





She is glad to know that we are already set up with an opthamologist and a schedule (every 3 months SG will see him).





Now she wants us to be set up at Scottish Rite with an orthapedic doctor, and get on a schedule with them. We've had several people offer to help us get into Scottish Rite, but Dr. S said that her patients rarely get rejected. (We already knew what a great rep she has, so we aren't surprised). The only weird thing is that Selah Grace does not have any bone problems yet, but Dr. S said she was going to call and explain SG's condition. She wants us to be proactive, rather than reactive, so she wants us in right now. Scottish Rite will supposedly be calling us soon to get us in with them. (ETA: We've already gotten a call from them! They call our Dr by her first name - good sign! They are mailing us an appt date.)





Scoliosis (for chs patients) is caused by the backbone (forgive my lack of medical knowledge... it's the best I can do!) compensating from legs that are a different length. So the quicker we see a problem with bone growth - specificially her upper arm bone and thigh bone - the quicker we can address it and prevent scoliosis.





There still is a possiblity that SG's bones will not grow "normally" and she will be a little person. A lot of the time, little people have average sized "trunks" and short arms/legs. This could be the case with Selah Grace. We do not know yet. Depending on her size right now, and a formula from the dr, SG should grow up to 5'4" - 5'6" so it will be interesting to see what happens there. We just don't know.











The dr seems to remember having a conradi-hunermann patient back in the early 90s, but it was a different case... a little more severe. She seems to handle a good number of different rare conditions, so it bothers us less that she hasn't encountered chs in a while.








She also brought out the picture that we keep seeing online (maybe you've googled and seen the same thing). It's a disturbing drawing of a baby and a little girl, with very noticeable asymmetry. But it's the one in the medical book describing chs. I told her that the drawing made me so uncomfortable - we keep seeing it.





First, she said to STOP GOOGLING. (which they have told us from day one!)





She made the point that the symptoms of this condition - and even the "discovery" of it - were because of the most severe patients. And that the symptoms listed as "possible" were not all in one child. It's a compiled list based on lots of patients.





She said she was "encouraged" and "optimistic" by the way Selah Grace looks right now - very healthy.








How we are doing:





*sigh*





We were SO thankful for the appt we had. Dr. S was very scientific, but we have great confidence in her. GREAT confidence.





In the car, we would say things like, "That is so great that she was encouraged by how things look! I think Selah Grace is going to be great regardless!" And we'd agree with each other and nod and look confident.... but then there'd be a little bit of a silence and we'd both look out the window.





It's a weird thing when you're dealing with something like this. We just WANT our daughter to have the childhood we had. Fun, care-free, pain-free.





And that might not be that case for her.





And that's hard to swallow.





The unknown will always be a little shadow. No matter how we try not to think about it. It's just the "new" normal for our family will take some getting-used-to.





Those are all my thoughts for now. Maybe more later. Thankfully we have many other things to keep our hands and thoughts busy this time of year!

Pictures!

Several new posts are up with pictures... The next 6 posts are all new.

Santa Claus

The latest at our house

Christmas shopping

Christmas Picture

Texas Tech game

First snow


Enjoy!! :)

Santa Claus!

The kids went to see Santa! Zachariah asked for a Metal Detector. He wants to find money. :) And Selah Grace didn't really care that she was in his lap. Maybe because Zac was there?

Anyways - it was so CUTE to see them sitting there together! My babies!

The latest at our house...

Selah Grace like to watch cartoons together Seriously! She likes it!



I should probably be embarrassed... but I'm not going to lie. I do take advantage of the free time.













We got a $20 Charlie Brown tree from Walmart to fit into our apartment. And Zachariah got to decorate it. Looks awesome for someone who is 4 feet tall! :)

(note to self: spread UP the ornaments when he's asleep)















And I thought he didn't like art. What was I thinking?! Am I not the mom of a BOY?? Shouldn't I KNOW?

A cool and useful art table for a boy must include tools.



Presenting ZZ's first "art" project with a new art supply: The Stapler





You probably already know this, since it's such a genius idea and all... but it's a money holder.









I am finally getting out of maternity clothes. Which meant I emptied three tubs of regular clothes and need to do the switch. Complete chaos in my closet. And the hallway.













And OH NO. We were trying to avoid this situation with the pacifier... but we weren't quick enough or something.



Someone has found her thumb!

Christmas Shopping

We met up with some friends to take each other's kids and let them buy Christmas presents. We've done this before and it's really fun to have some things under the tree that were picked out by a child - and we don't know what's in there until Christmas morning. :)



Zac had a list







Selah Grace thinks shopping is fun!







Boys think shopping is boring.... but candy cane swords are fun!







By the end, Selah Grace is done with shopping, too. On a great note, her screaming never fails to get more cash registers open. Every time! :)







ZZ was supposed to keep his gifts a secret... but he has already told me everything he bought. So much for any surprised under the tree for me! ;)

Trying to get a cute picture... not so easy

I have managed with OTHER people's kids... but not my own - Ha!



Zac was covered in spiderman tattoos and Selah Grace did not understand the utter cuteness of a baby beret.



Oh - and it was absolutely FREEZING outside!







They both humored me for about 2 minutes before all hope was lost. :)

Texas Tech game

We had such a great time at the Tech game! The weather was PERFECT. And we won!!





Zac started to get kind of bored around the 3rd quarter. So we let Dad watch the game and we chased each other down the ramp from the top to the bottom. Twice. We bought some grapes from the fruit stand. Finally, we ended up finding a play space for kids.





Selah Grace was a favorite with her little Tech jacket (goodwill find!!!!) and big big bow.





Still very fun, and Zac LOVED it, but next season we are wanting to get down to Lubbock to tailgate with no kiddos. ;)












And this picture is TOO STINKIN CUTE not to include!! A friend behind us took it...

First snow!

Zac came tearing into our room that morning - SNOW!!! SNOW!!!!



We let Selah Grace sleep in and went outside to have some snow fun. :)











In Texas, snow lasts for a very short time. Of course this meant that there was NO snow by the time SG was ready to head outside. Maybe next time!

liar liar pants on fire

No pics!
1. I underestimated the time it would take to compile CDs for 2 photo sessions I had last weekend.
2. Selah Grace is sick.
3. Zac sees me tending to SG, and neeeeeeeeds me for every little thing.


Maybe tonight. We'll see!


Still nervous about the appt tomorrow, but definitely feeling everyone's prayers. THANK YOU!!

4 more days...

... until the appointment.

Thursday at 9am.

We've had a rough couple of days as all of our emotions from 2 months ago are flooding back.

It's like we just kind of forgot about it for a while. But now, I'm a mess one minute. Then Brian is a mess. Sometimes we are both a mess. We just want it to be over with already!


We had a really fun thing happen this weekend, though. Friday night we had a party to go to, with no kids. We didn't know what to do with ourselves. :) I had a new outfit on - and it wasn't maternity -- ha! Then, at the party, we won a raffle for Dallas Stars tickets - Row ZERO! We're very excited!


On Saturday, I had a photo session and then we had another party to go to. We brought SG and she slept in her carrier the whole time.

This one was fun until the end. We were about to head home and someone asked us, "Oh, does your daughter still have that thing? You know, that thing?"

And I looked at Brian... and he politely asks, "What thing?"

And she says, "You know, that thing that was wrong with her?"


It was horrible. Typing it out doesn't come close to describing how awful it was.


So, there was a pause, and I softly said, "Well, she's going to have that her whole life."

:(

We were very hurt.

This is the second time we have been really really really hurt. I'll never forget the time there were several people who met newborn SG for the very first time and immediately asked to see her rash. No "cute baby" comments. Just people peering into her infant carrier like she was a freak show while my eyes filled with tears. That image is burned into my memory. I sobbed the whole way home.

We don't expect people to say the perfect thing all the time. In fact there is no perfect thing to say! We don't mind thoughtful questions of friends and family who truly care about our baby girl. But it's hard to get comments/questions from people who are just nosy and you know they don't care.


Although maybe it's why I love to make her big bows. Gives people something else to talk about.


Sorry... I went off on a bit of a tangent.


Please continue to pray for us regarding Thursday. The doctor is a bit hard around the edges, and doesn't necessarily break things very gently. But, she's a good doctor and that's what we want. We are very sensitive this week and nervous and all those mad feelings come back and the unfair feelings and the frustration and all that.



We might not want to talk about it afterwards. I don't know. But I'll for sure post on the blog when we're ready.



Anyways. *SIGH*

More fun things tomorrow. A big picture post is coming! With SANTA PICTURES!! And Texas Tech game pictures!! And SNOW pictures!! And a photo shoot with my babies that went terribly wrong...heehee! :)

Right now, I have one child in my lap (yes, just typed all that one handed) and one who is "starving" and "bored" and driving me bonkers because he cannot STAND the fact that there are presents under the tree and he can't open them. ("How would you feel if you were me, Mom?!)

We might head to the mall until bedtime.

And if that's the case, I don't know how I'm going to NOT buy the gold ballet slippers for Selah Grace that Brian keeps saying no to. Don't even get me started on the red uggs that would be ADORABLE on her! Anyone want to donate to the Selah Grace shoe fund? :)

from zachariah

Mom. You know when you bite into something and it give you goosebumps? That's what happened with my oatmeal! BUT - my halloween candy does not do that to me. So, I should have that for breakfast instead.

Updates on Selah Grace

Our little Selah Grace is doing great! She is 10 weeks now. Can't believe it!

Our nicknames for her:
Selah Gracie
Selah Baby
Silly Selah
My sweet-little-baby-princess-darling-cutie-baby-girl (okay, that's just mine)


Selah Grace is such a big girl now!

She sleeps in her room (shares with Zac). She goes to bed around 7pm and sleeps until about 8am or so. She still eats every 3 hours, but she goes right back to sleep, so that's nice. And she wakes up so happy. It's so stinkin cute! (both our kids are such morning people!)

She sleeps in a scary crazy way. For some reason, she likes to smoosh her face while she sleeps. If we are holding her, she nuzzles her face into our armpits or the crease of our elbow. She sleeps face down in bed and it freaks me out. What a turkey. (weirdly, Zac did the exact same thing!)

She is a MOVER. Girlfriend can turn her whole body around in bed. She can scoot all around. She is making me rethink me idea of no crib bumper. I feel so bad for her when she scoots up to the end of the crib and smacks her head. And, bless her heart, she continues to try and scoot forward and bumps her head over and over. So funny/sad to see when I'm walking in to get her.

She also goes to the church nursery on Sundays (and during Mops). We know one of the nursery workers in her sunday room. I taught vbs with her this summer. It's very easy to hand over my baby to someone who is dying to hold her! :)

On a funny note, we now consider church our date day. LOL! We drop off both kids, then we giggle and hold hands and act all goofy in love. Because no one is tugging on us. No one is spitting up on us. No one needs food. And because we can. :)




I haven't really talked about Selah's medical stuff in a while.

It's just kind of always there.... lingering in the background... but we don't actually talk about it much anymore.

We brought her to our Sunday School class and everyone circled around her to pray for her. It was extremely emotional. And we have so much support there - so many prayers.

We see her rash doing what the drs said it would do. It's a tiny bit darker - more brown than red. It swirls a little bit up her legs. You can feel it... kind of feels like exzema. It sometimes looks like exzema, too. But it's not exzema.

She has a tiny spot of it between her eyebrows. We are probably the only ones that see that one.

Most of the time, we just are enjoying her as our sweet baby girl. We haven't had a dr appt or anything to remind us.

But there are times when it is an unspoken member of our conversations and thoughts. I watched the Texas Tech cheerleaders last Saturday at the game. I thought how fun it will be when Selah Grace is old enough to participate in a sport that I loved so much. But... will she be able to? Will her condition impact that? We don't know.

Is it so stupid that I cry about the dumb cheerleader thing?


My mind wanders when I see people of short stature. I want to talk to them. Ask them if they were average sized babies. Ask them about their life. Ask them if they've heard of Selah Grace's condition. And then I realize I'm staring.

And I wonder... will people stare at my baby girl?


My parents volunteer regularly at a place for children with disabilities. Will Selah Grace be one of those children? Did the Lord put my parents there because of their grandaughter?


I have some cute shorts for her to wear... but I never put her in them. I find myself thinking about her rash when I buy her clothes... long dresses...lots of tights and baby legwarmers...


I brought her in for her 2 month appointment at the pediatrician. She is 12 lbs, 7 oz! She took shots like a superstar. Dr said she looks great. :)

When he was walking out, I quietly asked him if her legs were the right length. Are they shorter than average? He was kind. I think he saw the paranoia in my eyes. He said she looked normal to him. I just kind of laughed it off... but I was so relieved.


We finally got into the geneticist. We have an appointment on December 10 at 9am. It puts knots in my stomach. I don't know why. I'm glad that they were the ones who called us, because I think I would have put off this appt for as long as I could.

ugh... typing that made me really start to cry.

I think I'm nervous about it. And scared.

They wanted to make sure we brought the CD of her bone scans. They told us at her birth that she was showing possible mild scoliosis and she had a full skeletal bone scan.

Well crumbs. I had forgotten about the scoliosis.

Please start praying regarding this appointment.
* Wisdom for the doctors involved in her case
* Strength for us to handle the outcome
* Patience in case we have to wait longer for any more information
* Peace about whatever we hear
* Faithfulness to Him, regardless of the situation
* Any opportunities to give Him glory to those who don't know Him
* That she wouldn't have any pain during exams/tests

We don't really know what to expect out of this appointment. But we've been told by other parents to emotionally prepare for the office. The children are all there for a reason. And we've heard that sometimes it's scary. I am afraid I'm going to cry. I want to be strong.

We also ask that, if you feel led, that you pray for healing our little girl. We aren't delusional about medical conditions, but we also know that we serve an AWESOME God - and He is in the miracle business.

It's hard to plead so desperately, but also tell myself that I need to be okay with whatever His will is for her life. So hard.

A million thanks for your thoughts and prayers for our little Selah Grace. God bless you.