Big Brother

On the way home from bible study on Wednesday, Zac told me, "I wish I was a big brother."

I say, "Oh really? Maybe someday God can put a baby in Mommy's tummy."

He says, "Yeah, someone told me that today."


Apparently, someone made a statement about him being excited about being a big brother. I'm clearly pregnant, and I'm guessing his teachers at bible study mentioned it to him.

So, Brian and I decided it was do-or-die time. We needed to tell him.


Last night, we went out to Pei Wei (YUM) and then to Barnes and Noble to find some books. It was recommended to us that we do this through "bibliotherapy" and so we got a stack of children's books to flip through.

Brian had gone to the restroom only to come back to find me sobbing and sobbing in the middle of a big pile of books.


All of a sudden, I just had overwhelming thoughts of how this was going to impact my sweet little relationship with ZZ, the dynamics of our little family... and how in the world will I EVER love another little person as much as my baby boy?! I've been around other children for his whole life - and as much as I love kids - no one can come close to the love I have for Zachariah. He and Brian have my heart... how can I share it with someone new? Will Zac feel left out? Less loved? Reading these books designed the reassure the sweet little hearts of older siblings.... it was just too much.

I needed one to reassure me.

Then I thought about our special time in the morning... when ZZ wakes up (not supposed to come in our room until 7, but always finds a really important reason to be early) and comes in our bed for Cuddle Time. One of his two main love languages is physical touch. Cuddle Time is a crucial start to our morning, and is never forgotten. He spends time with each of us, and will rub our backs, play with my hair... sometimes he will cradle our face in his hands and tell us how lucky he is or how much he loves us. It's unbelievably SWEET!!!!! He's such a morning person, and it is a blessing to wake up this way for our family. He just makes us melt. And I wonder.... how will the new baby fit in here....

And I think about when we all drive places. Something we love to do is sing and dance. Like, all 3 of us. One time, on the long drive back from my parent's ranch, "Living on the Edge" came on. Zachariah just loves the hard rock songs where he can totally jam out. Well, we all were so into this song. It was full blast in the car and we were literally screaming the chorus while playing our air guitars and drums. I treasure these silly moments. And I think.... car rides will be so different now.....

Dinner time is another favorite time. We sit around and each of us has to give a "high" and a "low" of the day. It's a great time to talk and listen and include everyone in the conversation. We love hearing Zac's thoughts and what really impacted him on that day. Where does a baby fit in?


I know it will all work out... and hopefully this is all normal to feel like this. (is it? feel free to reassure me!!!)


Anyways, this morning, with my swollen eyes (gotta love what a good cry does to your face the next day), we sat Zac on the couch and told him he was going to be a big brother.




He's a processor (much like me), so he didn't have much to say. No questions, no thoughts. He's going to need some time to process this.

And in true ZZ fashion, he will bring it up - probably while we're driving somewhere or right before bedtime on a random night - and have a question or two. He doesn't want a big deal to be made out of this kind of thing and we're letting him go with that. The great thing is a great friend of mine (who's daughter is Zac's age and they just love each other) is also pregnant. So he will be able to have a friend going through the same thing.


Zac's not the kind of kid you can parade up to someone and say, "ZZ! Tell so-and-so our BIG news!!!" It makes him uncomfortable.

I might do something like hang a picture of how big the baby is somewhere in the house where he can see it when he wants to see it - but not make a big deal about it. I know he will be curious, but will need to adjust to it all in his own time. He has a while to get used to the idea, and we are patient enough to wait for him to let this all sink in over the next couple months. We plan on bringing him to our sonogram where we find out boy or girl (end of April!!!!). Also, we'll let him help us put the crib together, hang curtain rods, etc.

He's a guy - sometimes less words and something to DO is a better way to process... ;)


So, big hurdle #1. Check.


Now, today we are off to our first (out of three) easter egg hunts of this weekend. Dad's home today, so we are excited!!! Off to spend time with my boys!!!

Privacy Please

Our front door looks right into the family room.

It's nice to have the sunlight. And to know who's at the door.



But sometimes at night, by myself, I don't WANT to know if someone's at the door.

And I can't watch tv without being paranoid.

And no one really needs to know how animated I can get during ridiculous shows like The Hills and Little Miss Perfect while Brian's out of town.

So, today I did this!

It's not perfect, but after I get a cute wreath and a No Soliciting sign, our door will be complete! :)



Here's what it used to look like from the outside...

And now!!

$20 film was MUCH better than the hundreds it would have cost for a new door.

I have so many more projects in my head..... I'm totally nesting early!!!

Boy playdates don't look like this

We had friends over the other day and decided to create a shopping mall in the living room.

That's just what happens when there is only one boy.

We had the fake money out, everyone set up a store, we all had to price our items, etc.

ZZ made a sign for his "bloc" store.

Gosh, he's so stinkin cute.

And even though no one was selling ammunition and he never got to save us from bad guys, he still had fun!

He's going to be such a great husband someday!!!

First Monday weekend!

I convinced Brian to take me to Canton this weekend!!

We loaded up the car:


A cooler full of food. My sour candies. Mascara and chapstick. A tape measurer.
And Brian having to take the seats out of the minivan by himself.


On the way out of the neighborhood....
YES!!! An entire neighborhood of garage sales!!! This was turning out to be an awesome day. I found a computer table that I've been wanting. $20!

I got about 2 hours worth of Canton before Brian burned out. But, we didn't leave empty handed!

Then he got to come home and help me redecorate the family room. He is so awesome! Even when I had the crazy idea to frame some old spoons I got in Canton (he knows to step away from the hot glue gun). We had been going back and forth on selling our house, but since we decided to stay, I had to get all our family pictures back out and rearrange everything. I'm nesting early. ;)

Certainly wasn't Brian's dream weekend, but he got a free pass to go turkey hunting in 2 weeks. It all evens out! :)

Another fun playdate!

Remember the hair playdate? Well, that was super fun. I got to chit-chat, eat, and get my hair cut (AND styled!), while ZZ just played his heart out with someone else's toys.

Now, I love every kind of playdate, even the simple park ones, or just going to someone else's house. Zac has so much fun with his friends and I have so much fun with mine! (although Zac's favorite would probably be at Anna Kate's house because she has a cat named Houston and he is really going through a cat phase right now)

BUT - today was another super fun themed play date: the Crafty Mom Play Date!
And guess what I learned to do?

Knit!

On the way there, we stopped at Joanns, where I usually just drool at fabric. But this time, we headed straight for the yarn section (with a brief stop during which ZZ tried to convince me to cross-stitch a CAT for him. umm......No.)


I didn't know what to buy, so I got a beginners kit with a DVD that came with it. I decided on a scarf. Seems like a good choice for a first-timer.


Well, anyways - I learned how to "cast" and how to do one other stitch (can't remember the name....).


And it might not look like much to YOU....


but I put a LOT of work into this!!

And soon, it will look like that scarf in the picture.



Whoever gets this beauty at Christmas will surely be impressed.
Since that's how long ZZ told me it would take to finish it.

Soccer Birthday Party and baby updates

We celebrated Brian's 34.4 birthday this weekend. ZZ helped me make cupcakes. He iced them, too. Then he chose soccer cupcake wrappers.



And he also iced the cake. Looks good, no?

Brian was totally impressed.

We met up with friends at the park and shared the cupcakes. We also got to sing Happy Birthday.

Because we were playing soccer and eating soccer cupcakes, ZZ called it a Soccer Birthday Party.

This shirt, by the way, is Brian's from his childhood soccer team - The Shootin' Stars.

When asked for a picture, ZZ immediately transitions into his signature Get Yur Guns Up Texas Tech pose.

As for the latest baby news:

I'm 15 weeks! I feel better now, but nighttime is still back and forth. Last night I felt nauseated all night long and didn't sleep very well. But mornings are great. Go figure! I have to make sure I eat enough protein and I *always* have my sour candies with me. I've been trying to exercise again and actually ran 2 miles last week. Hopefully the baby had fun during that.

The baby is the size of an apple now (about 4 inches) and looks more like a baby right now - with proportionate arms and legs. He/she can also suck his/her thumb and can already sense light and dark.

According to babycenter, "You've probably gained about 5 pounds by now." Um... yeah. Something like that. ;)

We thought we might get to find out the gender yesterday, but it looks like we're waiting another month or so. Any guessers out there? We are still battling through baby names. Who knows what we'll end up with!

And we are also hoping for a vbac. (Okay, well - *I'm* hoping for one! I think it makes Brian nervous!!) Zac was a c-section and I don't want to go through that again - even as perfect and beautiful as he turned out. :) There's a chance that I might switch doctors to one who is more vbac-friendly. We found one who came highly recommended and we will be consulting with him in April.

Lazy Saturdays...

After spending time in Mommy's Beauty Salon (aka: haircuts for everyone), the boys played some FIFA soccer.

I got to go to the grocery store while they tried to get to 100...

And now they are on their way out for a Boys Day with Noah and his daddy Jacob. Which is really a good excuse for Brian and Jacob to watch March Madness. ;)

But that's fine with me - I'm on my way to another consignment sale!!! I love Saturdays!