Encouraging your husband

As I start back on the road to normal, I think it's a great time for me to put a LOT of effort right now into encouraging my husband. He's taken the load for a couple months and it's taken a toll!!



There's this song out right now that makes me cry every time. (disclaimer: I already cry a lot lately and blame this all on Leroy) It's called Lead Me.

It's a man talking about his wife, and how she is beautiful on the outside, but inside is asking him to lead her, take care of her, stand up for her, don't let her be lonely.

Then he talks about his kids, looking independent on the outside, but on the inside asking Daddy to lead them, take care of them, don't leave them looking for love in other places.

And then the man looks to the Lord and sings the same verse - For God to lead him, take care of him, don't let him get caught up in things that he can easily give up.


The song came on the other day when we were driving together. And we got to talking about the tough responsibilities of a Godly man. It's a lot! In our case, Brian is our only income, first of all. (talk about pressure!) Then he's also responsible for leading us, for directing us, for decisions, etc. A Godly husband and father shows courage and selflessness, along with affection and kindness. It's a calling. But it's hard. And I have a man who feels that call to lead us. He honors God's word to stay committed to us, to stay faithful to us, to stay responsible to us. I have a man who looks to the Lord for wisdom and guidance. I am so so eternally grateful for this huge blessing. (because if ANYone knows what a blessing this is - it's ME!!)


It's been heavy on my heart lately to pick up the pieces of the last couple months and jump back into the Godly Wife role with both feet running. One of the things I know is a really big deal to my husband is to encourage him. There are two ways I specifically go about encouraging Brian.

One is to PRAY for him. This isn't something I do with him or tell him about. It's something I try to do daily. Praying for your husband is an amazing way to encourage and support him. I can actually see visible change in him - and whether that's God working on my heart or his - or both! - I find great comfort in it. It's easy to do.

I love to use the book Power of a Praying Wife. Each chapter is a "topic" such as His Needs, His Walk, His Work, etc. I have my go-to chapters dog eared and all marked up. Every once in a while, I'll look over some other chapters and often find more things to incorporate into my prayers. The book helps me in several ways. First, it helps me focus on Brian and not myself. It incorporates scripture that I can write down in my little memory book to memorize for him. It keeps me on track. And it gives me ideas on ways I can pray for him that I might not have thought of otherwise.

Again, it's so easy to pray for your husband. (unless you're really mad at him... then you might want to pray for yourself first...haha!) This just isn't a season of my life where I'm getting up at 5am to pray every day. Just being honest. I don't have it in me to do bible study homework, either. BUT, praying is so easy! I just leave my prayer book laying around. I can look through it and pray while Selah Grace is playing in front of me. I can pray while I sew. I can find time every single day to do this.

And, one of the blessings is that Zachariah has grown up watching me pray during the daytime. I'm not on my knees crying out to the Lord in front of him, but he might wonder over and see what I'm reading about, and that's enough for me. :) What a legacy you can provide to your children if they see you in prayer, or hear you praying for Daddy. I think that is waaaaaaaaay more effective than nighttime prayers, which - come on - we all know those get a little routine and sometimes are kind of lame. Anyways, that's another topic and I'm off track.

I love seeing Brian's spirits lift, seeing him blessed in his work, seeing him being pulled by the Holy Spirit to seek His wisdom in things he does. It's very comforting watching the Lord cover your husband in peace. Have you ever experienced that?



The other thing I try to do is remember his Love Language. Do you know your husband's love language? I don't really know my own, but I definitely know Brian's. I think it's very important to know how your spouse gives and receives love. The book The Five Love Languages gives more insight on each love language. Brian is physical touch and words of affirmation. I know that these are really not MY love languages, but that doesn't matter. Giving Brian gifts might be fun for me, but it doesn't mean nearly as much to him as holding his hand, hugging, etc. Taking time to talk with him and tell him things that I am usually already thinking, but don't always SAY.

We have a funny saying around our house about filling the Love Tank. It actually started because Zachariah has two very strong love languages, and when he hasn't received love in the right way, he can become very needy. So we make sure that we fill his Love Tank, and he's good to go. Well, it wasn't long before I realized that Brian was the same way! He doesn't get needy, though. He withdraws. When I see or sense that, it's a major red flag for me to get it in gear and fill that man's Love Tank!! I might leave a note in his car or offer to rub his back while we watch television. There are lots of ways to meet his needs, and by doing those things, it encourages him. Plus, there's always the added benefit of a happy, fulfilled, and encouraged husband who turns around and tries to meet his wife's needs in return. What a wonderful cycle!


Those are two of the main ways I encourage and uplift my hubs. If you're lucky enough to be blessed by an amazing man, you probably have ways you encourage, too. What are yours?




Here are the lyrics to the song I mentioned above. If you get a chance to actually listen to it, I highly recommend it. It's #1 right now, so it's played on christian radio quite often. :)


Sanctus Real -
“Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames
I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces,
look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them

Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home

Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone