Kindergarten - update

So, remember when Zachariah was SO excited for Kindergarten? I am just not sure what has happened.

Mornings are a mess. He begs not to go. He cries. He drags his feet on anything related to going out the door. I'm having to be tough and strict, only to watch him sadly get out of my car with his shoulders hunched over, slowly walking into the school... and then I cry on the way home.

It's just not him. When we did preschool and co-op, he couldn't get in the car fast enough! When we did VBS (pretty much most of our summer), he would jump right in without hesitation. The different camps he did this summer, where he didn't know anyone, he had a hundred friends by the end and never wanted to leave.

And I know he has friends at school, because he loves lunch and recess (haha), but he just hates school. He has some homeschooled friends at Awanas, and he asks me to homeschool him.

What kid in Kindergarten asks to be homeschooled?? Especially one who used to be so excited?

I tried to make an appt with the counselor a couple of weeks ago (for other reasons, we wanted to meet with her and Z's teacher), and she emailed me back asking for my phone number, so I gave it to her right away, and I got a vague email back. Then a vague email about 2 weeks later apologizing and saying she'd be back with me (but it looked like an email that was sent to several people), then nothing. And I emailed the teacher asking about it, and she never addressed it either.

So, it's like - who do you go to now? The principal? I know from being a teacher, that is not cool. And I don't want to make Zac's school experience worse. And we know annoying parents can make their kids' school experience worse, that's just a fact.

And what is going to them really going to do? Make the teacher into a different person who is loving and kind and reaches out to my kid? She's just not that way, and a meeting won't change that.


And I basically feel like I'm sending Zac to school for NO reason. He's not learning anything. He's not have a fun time. Shouldn't it be at least one or the other?

I'm at a loss.


**UPDATE**

So, I emailed the counselor again and this time I meant business. (haha) She got back to me within minutes and we had a conference set up for lunchtime - which meant Brian could come too - which was good since I cried all morning and it wasn't looking good for the afternoon, either.

Anyways, we dropped a lot on her in the 30 minutes we met. We had two big issues.

One - the original issue we were meeting, which was about the personal struggles Zachariah carries on a daily basis, the fact that he meets with his therapist on a regular basis, and the details behind all that. It was nice to talk with someone who was not naive enough to fall for a total fake facade, and actually care enough about our child to appreciate a series of RED flags when they appear. She took the issues very seriously, because, well, they are serious. And wrong. There's "benefit of the doubt" and there's common sense, and she seems to have some common sense. But that's a whole other issue, and unfortunately not something I can write any more about.

Then, we have this new issue of not liking school - which she also took very seriously. That was nice. She assured us that we were not "those parents" and after hearing everything we came to tell her, she said we have showed amazing patience in waiting to meet! (thank you!) We were both surprised to hear her put some responsibility on the teacher, and actually encouraged us to go the principal. Which was shocking for me, since usually teachers/counselors back each other up - at least in front of parents. And we did not get that impression. Anyways, she kept suggesting to move Zac to another teacher, but we'd rather not. Honestly, if we move him - it's simply to homeschool or private school, and that's a last resort. We'd like to all work together and make this situation work. Anyways, she agreed that the change of attitude, and the fact that it's not a social issue, makes it serious and she's going to follow up on that. She also cautioned us on the way we were thinking how Zac needs to learn how to handle bad situations, etc etc. Her thinking was that if this is NOT his personality, then we needed to take it more seriously and advocate for him. This might not be the situation to force him to figure it out.

We don't know why he doesn't like it. It may be because of academics. BUT, he's been in preschool where things were easy, and he loved it. As his mom and his first "teacher" I just don't think I can pinpoint that as the reason. It bugs ME, but I don't know how much it bugs him... I don't think it's the reason he cries before school. That just doesn't make a whole lot of sense, knowing my child. I also don't think it's because of the new baby. SG never phased Zachariah. Even his therapist thought it might, but it surprised her too that it never did. SG just doesn't affect his life really at all. And he absolutely LOVES her, loves sharing anything/everything with her, etc. The new baby... well, I don't think that it's hit any of us about the new baby... haha. So, I really don't think it's that either. It may be because he just hasn't connected with his teacher. That's more of a possibility. And then, something a friend approached me about this morning - there is a whole other factor that also might be playing into this. Not to be too annoyingly vague, but there is a new volunteer at his school. And it might be making Zac uncomfortable. School was his "neutral" ground, and now it's not. It's happened with a sport he participates in, and to see the same thing with school... just makes me wonder. Because he's having a similar reaction. I hadn't even put that together until a friend did. (thank you Lord for wonderful discerning loyal friends who care about my baby boy!!) We made the counselor aware of that possibility, because it sounds very likely.

We were trying to wait until Parent/Teacher conferences to meet with the teacher, but the counselor encouraged us to try and schedule a meeting soon regarding Zac's academics. She said their principal is really big on differentiating and compacting, and we should be seeing that already. (we are not)

Honestly, I will admit - I guess I really thought his Kinder teacher would be coming to ME - just like his co-op and preschool teachers did. I never had to go to them - they saw it, they acted on it, and tried to give him some extra things here and there. I was not expecting to have to do anything, I just thought it would be even more of a big deal in Kinder and his teacher would have test scores, etc to back things up, and more resources, and more opportunities to give him. And I was wrong on that.

All in all, I learned a couple of things. First off, my experience as a teacher was a HUGE deal. We got immediate respect and we weren't necessarily expecting that! She referred to my experience a LOT during the meeting. So, yay for that. Also, waiting to talk to them and being respectful and patient was another HUGE deal. She seemed to know right away that we were totally rational and normal. We weren't running with guns blazing. We were trying to go through the right channels in a calm, respectful way. (as long as she doesn't read this blog- HA!) So, I feel okay in how we've handled it so far. And even though I cried during 90% of the meeting, I think I still sounded somewhat rational. Thankfully Brian was there! (REALLY thankful he was there!!!)

Also, I learned about lots of people who love and care about my little boy. He really is a sweetie pie. I've peeked in on him at preschool, at Awanas, at Sunday School... he's a good listener, an active participator, a rule follower, and an all around good kid to have in class. He's certainly not perfect, but his teachers have adored him in the past. This new issue is just uncharacteristic.

Our backup is to either homeschool or put him in a private classical model school (they meet half-days or 1-2 days a week, with the other days meant to work on homework at home).


Oh - and one more thing. When I came for pick-up this afternoon, his teacher called him back to her, and gave him a hug. Methinks someone got a little tip today - haha! Hoping things will look better soon.

Thanks again for the love for sweet ZZ. Praying things get better!!!! :)